# 3 Small Things to Change Your Life Forever  ## Three Ways to Change Your Life [(00:00:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=0s) - Ryder, the creator of the [[Bullet journal | Bullet Journal]] method, discusses three small things that can transform one's life, based on insights from [[Bronnie Ware]], a palliative care nurse who interviewed hundreds of people on their deathbeds about their biggest regrets [(00:00:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=9s). - One of the top regrets mentioned by the people interviewed was not being true to themselves [(00:00:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=16s). - The discussion focuses on three small ways to remain true to oneself, which can help transform one's life, starting with the first point: being true to your community [(00:00:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=30s). ## Number 1: Your Community [(00:00:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=32s) - The people you surround yourself with have a significant impact on your life, and it's essential to be intentional about who you allow to be part of your life [(00:00:33)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=33s). - Most people's communities are formed by default, including family, school, and work, which can be a source of suffering if they're not positive [(00:00:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=36s). - The community you're surrounded by will have a significant impact on the quality of your life and who you will become, making it critical to create a support network that will be a pillar of your well-being [(00:00:57)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=57s). - To create a positive community, surround yourself with people who inspire you to become a better version of yourself, lift you up, set you straight, and have your best interest at heart [(00:01:19)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=79s). - It's essential to take time for the people who are positive influences in your life, and as you get older, you'll need to put more work into maintaining these relationships due to life's complications [(00:01:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=90s). ## Action 1: Take Time to Get in Touch [(00:01:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=105s) - Taking time for the people you're most grateful for or have the most positive impact in your life can be achieved through a simple trick that can be done today [(00:01:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=106s). - Scheduling regular calls with loved ones, especially those who aren't close in proximity, can have a profound impact on the integrity of that relationship in the long run [(00:01:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=116s). - Simply putting these calls on your calendar and asking the person if they want to do this weekly, monthly, or quarterly can help keep those who bring you up close and true [(00:02:05)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=125s). ## Number 2: Your Self [(00:02:23)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=143s) - We live in an age designed to distract us from ourselves, making it harder to be true to ourselves the further we are from ourselves [(00:02:24)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=144s). - The more we look away from ourselves, the harder it is to know what is true for us, who we are, and what we need [(00:02:37)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=157s). - When our needs are not met, we often turn to distractions like social media, Doom scrolling, drugs, sex, and alcohol to cope with the pain or discomfort of not knowing ourselves and not being able to be true to ourselves [(00:02:43)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=163s). - These distractions prevent us from knowing ourselves and being true to ourselves, highlighting the need to begin the process of self-discovery [(00:03:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=180s). ## Action 2: Record Your Experiences [(00:03:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=182s) - To gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, it is necessary to have the courage to examine what causes pain and what brings joy, and this understanding can be developed over time by creating a record of lived experiences. [(00:03:03)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=183s) - A record of lived experiences is a place to track thoughts, feelings, and actions, and process them to gain insight. [(00:03:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=189s) - Journaling is a powerful method for checking in with oneself and discovering what is true at a given moment. [(00:03:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=200s) ## The Three Item Rule [(00:03:28)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=208s) - A simple way to begin journaling is to write down three things every day: one meaningful thing to get done, one thing learned to be better tomorrow, and one thing to be grateful for, allowing for a balance of accountability and curiosity [(00:03:28)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=208s). - The first item is about being accountable and identifying one meaningful task to accomplish, while the second item is about being curious and learning something new to improve oneself [(00:03:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=210s). - The second item also involves developing habits such as listening more, asking more questions, or holding opinions lightly to foster personal growth [(00:03:42)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=222s). - The third item is about cultivating gratitude by writing down something that brings joy or went well, which helps develop a sensibility for what good, joy, or lightness means to the individual [(00:03:52)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=232s). - This practice is not just about gratitude but also about understanding what brings a person up or down, allowing them to make intentional choices that are true to themselves [(00:04:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=241s). - By acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, individuals can avoid suffering from self-criticism and make choices that align with their values and goals [(00:04:15)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=255s). ## Number 3: Your Word [(00:04:39)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=279s) - Being true to your word is one of the simplest and most powerful things you can do to transform your life, by following through on commitments such as showing up on time, helping with projects, and keeping promises to others and yourself [(00:04:40)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=280s). - The more true you are to your word, the more people will trust you, leading to stronger connections and a closer community, and the more you will begin to trust yourself [(00:04:59)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=299s). - Trusting yourself is crucial, but many people struggle with it due to breaking promises to themselves repeatedly, which can lead to feelings of misery and fear of taking risks [(00:05:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=336s). - To develop trust with yourself, it's essential to earn it by keeping promises, one at a time, and being honest about your capacity and abilities [(00:05:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=346s). - If you're unable to keep your word, it's better not to give it, and being careful with what you agree to is an act of being true to your word and yourself [(00:05:52)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=352s). - Being honest about what you can and can't take on, even if it frustrates others, is better than making promises you can't keep, which can damage relationships and trust [(00:05:57)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=357s). - Ultimately, actions should be worth the promises you make, and being true to your word requires thinking about your capacity and ability at any given time [(00:06:18)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEVhRweDeM4&t=378s).