# 17 hard questions about Christian marriage (for my church)  ## Intro [(00:00:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=0s) - A series of 17 questions about [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage will be addressed, including whether a married couple is sinning if the woman is the chief financial provider instead of the man, and whether divorce rates show that [[Complementarianism | complementarian]] biblical marriages are unstable and have higher rates of divorce [(00:00:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=20s). - The questions were submitted during a marriage conference at Grace EV Free in La Marada, where the speaker was part of a Q&A panel with other leaders, but many questions went unanswered [(00:00:43)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=43s). - The Elders of the church asked the speaker to answer the remaining questions, which are being presented in this video, but emphasized that the answers are not the official stance of the church [(00:00:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=51s). - The speaker is not an Elder at the church, but rather serves in different small capacities, and the answers provided are their own, not necessarily reflecting the views of the church [(00:01:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=62s). - The video aims to provide helpful answers to the questions and minister to a wider audience, while acknowledging that the Elders of the church may have different answers to the same questions [(00:01:14)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=74s). - The speaker has been given the trust to provide their own answers to the questions, and the video is intended to be a helpful resource for those seeking guidance on Christian marriage [(00:01:23)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=83s). ## 1..{Leading When You Don’t Feel Worthy} How do you lead as a husband when you’ve betrayed and dishonored your wife and are not “worthy” of the respect of your wife’s submission? [(00:01:27)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=87s) - A question was raised about how a husband can lead his wife when he has betrayed and dishonored her, and is not worthy of her respect and submission [(00:01:27)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=87s). - The answer to this question lies in the hope found in [[Jesus | Jesus Christ]], and the transformative power of God's grace [(00:01:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=111s). - The basis of a husband's relationship with his wife is not his worthiness, but rather God's design for marriage, which is modeled after Jesus' relationship with the church [(00:02:17)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=137s). - A husband should focus on self-sacrifice, leading by putting his wife's needs first, and not expecting respect or submission in return [(00:03:25)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=205s). - The husband's role is to provide Godly leadership, regardless of whether or not he receives respect or submission from his wife [(00:03:52)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=232s). - Giving up on being a Godly leader has consequences, and a husband should strive to live up to his promises, even if he may not win back his wife's full respect [(00:04:40)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=280s). - A husband should not wait for his wife's respect or submission before leading, but rather should focus on doing the right thing, regardless of the outcome [(00:04:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=241s). - The goal is not to earn respect or submission, but to live in a way that would make the husband someone his wife could respect, if her heart softens [(00:04:31)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=271s). - Giving up in a [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage is not an option, as it can lead to further failure, and instead, husbands should take the lead and work on their relationship despite their insecurities and psychological issues [(00:04:47)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=287s). - Insecurities can make individuals feel like they're not failing if they're not trying, but in reality, they're failing even more, and husbands should not rely on their wives to fulfill their insecurities [(00:05:11)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=311s). - There are examples of people in [[Bible | the Bible]], such as Peter and David, who have gone through redemption and transformation after failing, and husbands can do the same by taking Godly leadership in their marriage [(00:05:39)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=339s). - Husbands should lead their wives in the way they deserve, regardless of whether they feel they deserve anything, and ignore their insecurities [(00:05:54)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=354s). - The concept of submission in a Christian marriage is about to be discussed, with a longer answer that includes scripture, allowing viewers to skip around if needed [(00:06:13)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=373s). ## 2..{Submitting to Overbearing Leadership} How does submission work with an overbearing husband? Is it ever OK to say, “You’re overstepping your role”? [(00:06:15)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=375s) - In a [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage, it is okay for a wife to tell her husband that he is overstepping his role, but it should be done with the right attitude and method, as stated in [[Galatians 6]]:1, which emphasizes restoring someone caught in a transgression in a spirit of gentleness [(00:06:21)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=381s). - This biblical principle should be applied to every interaction, including those in marriage, where walls of mistreatment can be torn down, and spouses can overreact and forget to be gracious and understanding towards each other [(00:07:04)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=424s). - When correcting a spouse, one should be spiritual, not just irritated or right, and the agenda should be restoration, not just rebuke and correction, as stated in Galatians 6:1 [(00:08:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=482s). - The correction should be done in a spirit of gentleness, and the person correcting should keep watch on themselves to avoid being tempted to sin, as stated in Galatians 6:1 [(00:08:19)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=499s). - This principle applies to both husbands and wives correcting each other, and they should ask themselves how they can say something in a more gentle way to make it easier for the other person to receive [(00:08:26)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=506s). - The biblical example of Abigail in 1 Samuel 25 shows a situation where a wife goes behind her husband's back to protect her family from severe danger, violating her husband's role as head, but doing so out of necessity [(00:09:07)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=547s). - The story of Abigail and her husband [[Nabal]] is an example of a situation where a wife takes action to protect her family, even if it means going against her husband's decisions [(00:09:29)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=569s). - Nabal, a wealthy man with 3,000 sheep and 1,000 goats, was shearing his sheep in Carmel, which led to a major conflict with David that almost resulted in the slaughter of Nabal and his people, but was prevented by his wife Abigail's intervention [(00:09:42)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=582s). - Abigail's actions involved going behind her husband's back, which is not generally recommended, but in extreme circumstances, such as when a husband's obstinate pride puts the family in serious danger, it may be the right thing to do, requiring wisdom to discern the situation [(00:10:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=601s). - The passage describes Nabal as harsh and badly behaved, while Abigail is described as discerning and beautiful, highlighting their contrasting characters [(00:10:49)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=649s). - David sent 10 young men to greet Nabal and ask for his help, as David was being hunted by [[Saul]] and needed food for himself and his men, but Nabal responded by insulting David, calling him a nobody and implying that he was a disloyal servant who had broken away from his master [(00:12:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=721s). - Nabal's response was a distortion of the truth, as David had actually fled from Saul to save his life and remained loyal to him, and Abigail's situation with her husband was similar to David's relationship with Saul, where someone in authority was acting irrationally and putting others in danger [(00:12:42)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=762s). - Abigail's actions can be seen as a form of minimal rebellion against her husband's leadership, similar to David's actions against Saul, which were necessary to protect herself and others from harm [(00:13:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=789s). - [[Bible | The Bible]] provides examples of marriages where the husband is not a good leader, and the wife must make difficult decisions, as seen in the story of Abigail and her husband [[Nabal]]. [(00:13:11)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=791s) - Nabal is described as a selfish and narcissistic man who only thinks of himself, as shown in his response to David's men, where he refuses to provide them with food and supplies. [(00:13:18)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=798s) - Abigail, on the other hand, is wise and takes initiative to prevent harm to her household by secretly providing David and his men with food and supplies, going behind her husband's back. [(00:15:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=930s) - Abigail's actions demonstrate that she has authority, although lesser than her husband's, based on the Biblical idea of marriage, and she rightly oversteps Nabal's authority in this situation. [(00:16:08)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=968s) - The servant who informs Abigail of the situation is wiser than Nabal and recognizes that he is a worthless leader who cannot receive correction or hear truths he doesn't like. [(00:14:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=896s) - David and his men had been protecting Nabal's household and sheep while they were in the fields, and Abigail's actions are a response to the harm that Nabal's behavior has caused. [(00:14:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=870s) - Abigail's decision to provide for David and his men is motivated by her desire to prevent harm to her household and to do what is right, despite her husband's foolish behavior. [(00:14:50)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=890s) - The story of Abigail and [[Nabal]] serves as an example of how wives may need to make difficult decisions in marriages where the husband is not a good leader, and how they can rightly take initiative to prevent harm and do what is right. [(00:14:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=886s) - David's actions in wanting to kill Nabal and his household are considered wrong and an overreaction, but Abigail's wise intervention saves her husband and David from harm [(00:16:47)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1007s). - Abigail takes a mediator position, putting herself out there and taking the blame, to prevent David from attacking her husband, showing that a wife can go against the natural order of marriage in extreme scenarios where life and safety are at risk [(00:17:21)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1041s). - Abigail calls her husband Nabal a "worthless fellow" in front of David, not out of anger, but because it's true and he's endangering her life, illustrating that a wife can speak out against her husband in certain situations [(00:17:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1056s). - In extreme scenarios, such as domestic violence, a wife should disregard her husband's authority to provide safety for herself and her children, as seen in Abigail's actions and the speaker's experience as a domestic violence counselor [(00:18:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1082s). - Abigail affirms her loyalty to David, understanding that he is the one [[God]] has chosen, and acknowledges the prophetic statements about David becoming the Prince over [[Israel]] [(00:19:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1170s). - Abigail's words to David also serve as a warning, stating that he should not have to shed blood without cause or work salvation for himself, and that God will restrain his enemies and those who seek to do evil to him [(00:18:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1126s). - Abigail's actions and words ultimately prevent David from taking revenge on [[Nabal]] and his household, and instead, she offers the young men who follow David the presents she had brought, asking for forgiveness for her husband's trespass [(00:19:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1141s). - The story of Abigail and David from 1 Samuel 25 is referenced, where Abigail tries to talk David out of doing something wrong, and David responds by blessing Abigail for her discretion and for keeping him from blood guilt [(00:20:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1206s). - The story illustrates how Abigail's actions prevented David from working against God's plan, and David ultimately received what Abigail brought him and granted her petition [(00:20:50)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1250s). - The question of how submission works with an overbearing husband is addressed, and it is noted that if the husband's behavior is causing significant harm and danger to the family, the wife can take steps to protect her family within what is righteous [(00:21:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1276s). - If the husband's behavior is merely overbearing and sinful, the wife can tell him that his actions are wrong and have sinned against her, referencing [[Matthew 18]] and [[Galatians 6]] [(00:21:42)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1302s). - In cases of regular overbearing behavior, it is okay to involve the local church leadership if the husband won't listen to his wife, as this is a Biblical concept [(00:22:03)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1323s). - The importance of using tact and wisdom in addressing these situations is emphasized, and the value of seeking counsel from others who may be respected and trusted by the husband is noted [(00:22:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1336s). ## 3..{Earning Your Wife’s Trust/Respect} How does a husband win his wife’s trust and respect? Are there any virtues or goals that might be helpful in earning her trust? [(00:22:24)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1344s) - To win a wife's trust and respect, a husband should discuss things with her and involve her in decision-making, rather than making decisions without her input, which can lead to her having less trust and respect for him [(00:22:24)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1344s). - Being open to changing one's mind and not being stubbornly stuck in bad decisions is also important, as it shows a willingness to listen and consider new information [(00:23:13)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1393s). - A husband showing a history of wanting his wife's opinions in deciding big matters and big issues can help build trust, as it shows he cares about her and has her needs in mind [(00:24:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1440s). - Involving a wife in decision-making and showing that her opinions are valued can help create trust, as it demonstrates that her husband trusts her intelligence and values her contributions [(00:24:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1472s). - A husband's call is to love self-sacrificially, putting his wife's needs above his own, which can be powerful in creating trust [(00:24:52)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1492s). - Prioritizing a wife's needs and making sure she feels loved, nourished, and cherished can help create trust and build a stronger relationship [(00:25:11)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1511s). - While being a good husband can help create trust, it is not foolproof, and ultimately, trust is a decision that a wife makes, and some wives may respect and trust their husbands even when they don't earn it [(00:25:28)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1528s). - A husband's leadership role in a [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage involves making decisions that are loving and in his wife's best interests, even if she doesn't agree with them, rather than simply doing what she wants [(00:25:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1551s). - Husbands should not lie to their wives, as honesty is essential for building trust, and if a husband has lied in the past, he should stop and start telling the truth to earn his wife's trust [(00:26:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1576s). - A husband's desire for his wife's respect can be a good thing, but it can also be lost in the "black hole" of his own insecurities, leading to an insatiable and unreasonable desire for respect [(00:26:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1606s). - If a husband combines his desire for respect with insecurity, he may try to get his wife to fix his own problems, which is not a healthy or biblical approach to marriage [(00:27:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1629s). - A husband's focus should not be on getting his wife to respect him, as this is a selfish focus, but rather on self-sacrificially and selflessly loving his wife, which is his biblical calling [(00:27:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1656s). - When a husband's primary focus is on getting his wife to respect him, he is actually doing the opposite of his calling and trying to manipulate her instead of loving her self-sacrificially [(00:27:44)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1664s). ## 4..{Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage} What does the Bible say about pursuing spiritual intimacy in a marriage, and how might a husband initiate and a wife respond to that pursuit? [(00:28:03)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1683s) - Pursuing spiritual intimacy in a marriage involves more than just physical intimacy or relational romance, but also a spiritual connection between partners [(00:28:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1686s). - A husband can initiate spiritual intimacy by being a spiritual man on his own, filling up his own cup with spirituality, and then letting it overflow into other things such as praying together, worshiping together, and serving in church together [(00:28:35)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1715s). - It's essential to avoid one-upmanship, where one partner feels more biblically astute than the other, making the less knowledgeable partner feel insecure or problematic about discussing [[Bible | the Bible]] together [(00:29:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1796s). - Husbands should encourage and support their spouse's attempts to share insights and understanding of scripture, and be gentle when correcting or disagreeing, to maintain a positive environment [(00:30:31)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1831s). - Initiating spiritual intimacy can be as simple as saying, "Hey, can we talk about the study?" and being bold enough to start the conversation, even if one doesn't feel like they have much to say [(00:31:34)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1894s). - Lowering expectations of how great spiritual moments will be can help raise the frequency of them, and over time, they can get better and better [(00:31:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1905s). - It's essential to keep pressing forward, even if spiritual moments aren't perfect, and to maintain a habit of talking about scripture and spiritual topics [(00:31:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1916s). - A husband and wife can work through books of the Bible together, reading a passage and discussing it, which can be a helpful way to pursue spiritual intimacy [(00:29:40)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1780s). - Regularly praying together, discussing what happened in church, and watching [[Christianity | Christian]] content online can also be good ways to pursue spiritual intimacy [(00:29:29)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1769s). ## 5..{Can a Wife Pursue a Career?} Is it God’s ideal design that the wife is a housewife or stay at home mom rather than having a full-time career? What if it isn’t part of God’s will for them to have children? [(00:32:03)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1923s) - The question of whether it's God's ideal design for a wife to be a housewife or stay-at-home mom rather than having a full-time career is complicated, especially if the couple doesn't have children [(00:32:04)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1924s). - Historically, husbands have typically been the primary source of provision for their families, but [[Bible | the Bible]] doesn't explicitly state that the husband must be the financial number one provider [(00:32:21)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1941s). - The idea that a husband should be the primary provider may be beneficial in various ways, but it's not clear how necessary it is, and different marriages may play out in different ways [(00:32:39)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1959s). - If a wife has a higher-paying job than her husband, it may not be necessary for her to quit and for him to take a lower-paying job, as this could have a ripple effect on their ability to afford certain things, such as [[Christianity | Christian]] school for their kids or saving for retirement [(00:32:49)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=1969s). - The concept of "working at home" has changed over time, and prior to the [[Industrial Revolution]], many people worked from home or were part of family businesses [(00:33:33)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2013s). - Some people believe that women should work at home and take care of domestic responsibilities, citing [[Titus 2]]:5, but this verse is more about teaching women to be self-controlled and submissive to their husbands, rather than requiring them to stay at home [(00:34:07)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2047s). - The phrase "working at home" likely means taking care of home responsibilities, rather than necessarily staying at home and not having a job outside the house [(00:34:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2085s). - There is a balance between the feminist view that women can pursue careers and the patriarchal view that women should stay at home, and it's possible for women to have jobs outside the home while still taking care of their domestic responsibilities [(00:35:13)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2113s). - Husbands and wives both have responsibilities in taking care of their household and children, and if one partner is not fulfilling their duties, it needs to be addressed, whether it's the husband working 70 hours a week and not spending time with the kids, or the wife being gone all day and too tired to do anything when she gets home [(00:35:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2120s). - Circumstances can force situations that are not ideal, such as a single parent working two jobs to make ends meet, but this is not something that should be taught as okay [(00:36:08)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2168s). - Working at home means taking care of home responsibilities, but it doesn't mean that women can't do full-time ministry or have a job outside the home, as 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 shows that women can do full-time ministry instead of marriage and homemaking [(00:36:19)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2179s). - Homemaking is not the only thing that women can do, and it's not something that should be artificially limited, but rather it's a major issue that needs to be taken care of, and women can still take care of their family and kids while also pursuing other interests [(00:36:50)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2210s). - Women are not only homemakers, and they can have jobs and pursue other interests, as long as they are taking care of their family and kids, and the biblical principle is to look at whether the needs at home are being taken care of, rather than following strict rules [(00:37:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2265s). - The [[Proverbs 31]] woman is an ideal example of a woman who is a homemaker, but also a worker, who provides for her family and pursues other interests, such as buying a field, planting a vineyard, and selling goods [(00:38:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2281s). - Lydia, a well-respected woman in scripture, worked for a living as a seller of purple, showing that women can have careers and be entrepreneurs [(00:38:48)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2328s). - Priscilla and Aquila, a married couple, both worked for a living and participated in ministry together, demonstrating that both partners can contribute to the household income and spiritual life [(00:38:54)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2334s). - Several women, including [[Mary Magdalene]], Joanna, and Susanna, followed [[Jesus]] from city to city, sponsored his ministry financially, and learned from him, showing that women can be involved in ministry and support their spiritual leaders [(00:39:15)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2355s). - Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod's household manager, traveled with Jesus and helped supply funds for his ministry, indicating that married women can be involved in ministry and support their husbands' work [(00:39:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2376s). - [[Deborah]], a judge of [[Israel]], sat under a palm tree and decided cases, demonstrating that women can hold positions of authority and make important decisions [(00:40:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2412s). - Married women should not neglect their home responsibilities, but neither should men, and in today's culture, it's essential for both partners to prioritize their family and home life [(00:40:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2430s). - In non-ideal situations, one may have to work more than desired, but if a choice must be made, one should always prioritize their home and family [(00:41:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2466s). - Societal stereotypes should promote healthy family values, such as mothers being involved in childcare and fathers assisting with household responsibilities [(00:41:17)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2477s). - Homemaking should not be seen as offensive or insulting, but rather as a valuable and essential role in raising children and training them to be adults [(00:41:31)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2491s). - In modern culture, it's unrealistic to expect a woman to have the same at-home responsibilities throughout her life, as her role changes with the growth of her children or other life circumstances [(00:41:58)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2518s). - A woman's responsibilities at home differ depending on whether she has children and their age, and it's essential to be flexible and not impose hard and fast rules on everyone [(00:42:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2540s). - The idea that a husband has primary responsibility for financial provision in a marriage is a generalization, but it doesn't mean he has sole responsibility or that he must always be the breadwinner [(00:42:43)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2563s). - The [[Industrial Revolution]] significantly changed the way people work and live, and it's essential to consider this when interpreting scripture and its application to modern marriage [(00:43:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2580s). - Asking scripture to answer questions about marriage and financial provision assumes a post-industrial revolution view of scripture, making it a challenging issue to address [(00:43:14)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2594s). ## 6..{Wife Provides = Husband Neglects?} Does a husband submit to his wife by being a provider? Is a married couple living in sin if their roles are reversed? [(00:43:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2612s) - Question 6 is similar to question 5 and asks if a husband submits to his wife by being a provider, and if a married couple is living in sin if their roles are reversed [(00:43:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2612s). - The question can be interpreted as asking if a husband submits to his wife if the wife is the provider [(00:43:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2626s). - The answer to this question may be found in the response to question 5, and viewers who skipped to question 6 are advised to go back to the relevant timestamp [(00:43:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2631s). ## 7..{Submission & Initiative in Harmony} How do submission and taking initiative fit together? [(00:43:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2636s) - Submission and taking initiative can fit together in a [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage, with the husband exhibiting his leadership role by taking initiative, and the wife also taking initiative in a way that affirms her husband's leadership [(00:43:58)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2638s). - A woman can take initiative in her marriage, but it should be done in a way that has a different flavor than when the husband does it, and should not undercut her husband's leadership [(00:44:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2672s). - The way a wife takes initiative should be similar to how an employee would approach a conversation with their employer, by affirming their leadership and yielding to their authority [(00:44:54)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2694s). - Submission does not have to be totally passive, it can be active and still be yielding, and different couples will handle this differently depending on their individual characters and natures [(00:45:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2716s). - A wife's initiative should not be nagging or controlling, but rather supportive and helpful, and she should be willing to listen to her husband's perspective and adjust her approach if needed [(00:46:14)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2774s). - A simple way to determine if a wife's initiative is healthy or not is to ask her husband how he perceives it, and to listen to his response, as his perception of feeling unloved or disrespected is enough to warrant a change in approach [(00:46:17)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2777s). - The way a wife speaks to her husband and takes initiative should be similar to how she would approach a conversation with a leader in the workplace, with an unspoken yielding and offering of support [(00:47:16)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2836s). ## 8..{Servant Leadership in Marriage} How does servant leadership look in your marriage? And can you elaborate on “according to her gifts”? [(00:47:35)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2855s) - Servant leadership in marriage means the husband's purpose is to serve the needs and well-being of his wife and family, rather than his own ego or sense of power, and this is achieved by prioritizing their needs above his own [(00:49:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2985s). - A woman can serve in different ways in her marriage according to her gifts, rather than being limited to traditional roles, and this can include taking the lead in areas where she is skilled or gifted, such as finances or organization [(00:47:55)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2875s). - In one example, a wife who is an accountant can take the lead in handling the family's finances and taxes, but still present her work to her husband for review and approval, demonstrating a headship relationship [(00:48:44)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=2924s). - Servant leadership in marriage does not mean giving one's wife whatever she wants, but rather using one's authority to serve and prioritize her needs and well-being [(00:50:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3045s). - A husband's leadership in marriage should be characterized by a sense of responsibility and weighty decision-making, but also by a willingness to serve and prioritize the needs of his wife and family [(00:50:21)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3021s). - Jesus' leadership is an example of servant leadership, as he used his authority to serve others without giving up his authority [(00:50:35)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3035s). - Understanding one's wife is an important aspect of servant leadership in marriage, as emphasized in 1 Peter [(00:51:08)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3068s). ## 9..{Meaning of “Weaker Vessel”} What does “weaker vessel” mean? [(00:51:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3080s) - The term "weaker vessel" is mentioned in [[Bible | the Bible]], specifically in 1 Peter, referring to a woman's physical and possibly authority role in marriage and ministry [(00:51:21)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3081s). - The concept of a "weaker vessel" is not meant to degrade or put down women, but rather to acknowledge the physical differences between men and women, such as hand size, and to encourage husbands to have understanding and show honor to their wives [(00:52:10)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3130s). - The term "vessel" is also used by Paul to refer to the physical body, which is temporary and will be replaced with a new, glorified body upon death [(00:51:55)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3115s). - Women have a lower authority role in both ministry and marriage, but this does not mean they are less valuable or important; rather, it is a temporary situation that should be treated with respect and understanding [(00:52:39)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3159s). - Husbands are warned that if they do not treat their wives with respect and as full heirs of [[Jesus | Christ]], their prayers may be hindered [(00:53:01)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3181s). - The concept of a "weaker vessel" is not an excuse for abuse or inconsiderate behavior, but rather a call for husbands to be understanding and considerate of their wives' physical and emotional needs [(00:53:41)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3221s). - Women are equal to men as heirs in Christ, and should be treated with respect and dignity in marriage [(00:53:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3236s). ## 10..{Headship & The Fall} Is Adam ruling over his wife in Genesis 3: 16 a godly ruling or a domineering ruling over his wife? What does this mean for husbands and wives today? [(00:53:59)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3239s) - The question of whether Adam's rule over his wife in Genesis 3:16 is a godly or domineering ruling is significant for understanding the roles of husbands and wives today [(00:54:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3240s). - Some egalitarian arguments suggest that a husband's leadership over his wife started in Genesis 3:16 and is a negative thing, but this interpretation is not supported by the context of the passage [(00:54:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3276s). - The source of a husband's authority over his wife is found in Genesis 2, where Adam is made first, names Eve, and Eve is made from Adam, indicating male leadership in their husband-wife relationship [(00:55:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3332s). - [[New Testament | The New Testament]], including [[Ephesians 5]], 1 Corinthians 11, and 1 Timothy 2, provides commentary on Genesis 2 and supports the idea of a husband's godly leadership [(00:56:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3362s). - Even if Genesis 3:16 is interpreted as a domineering rule, it does not undo the proper role of the husband as head of the home and marriage, which is sourced in creation, not the fall [(00:56:54)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3414s). - The word "rule" in Genesis 3:16 is not inherently domineering or negative, and the context does not indicate a negative connotation [(00:57:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3426s). - The origin of male headship is a topic of debate, but it is argued that it started as a result of God's design, creation, and preference, rather than as a result of the fall [(00:57:27)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3447s). ## 11..{Finding a Good Counselor} What are the necessary considerations for finding a trustworthy and appropriate marriage counselor(s)? [(00:57:49)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3469s) - When finding a trustworthy and appropriate marriage counselor, it is essential to consider a counselor who shares Christian values, as a [[Christianity | non-Christian]] counselor may not help in becoming more Christ-like in marriage [(00:57:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3471s). - A good marriage counselor should hear both sides of the issue, listening carefully to both the husband and the wife, and be skilled at confrontation to help resolve conflicts [(00:58:37)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3517s). - It may be necessary to meet with a counselor to assess their approach and compatibility, and if the first meeting does not work out, it is recommended not to give up on counseling but to pursue a different counselor or type of counseling [(00:58:50)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3530s). - Turning Point Counseling is a recommended group by the elders at the church, and they can be contacted for counseling services, especially for those in the [[Southern California]] area [(00:59:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3552s). - Their website is turningpointcounseling.org, and they may be a helpful resource for those seeking Christian-based marriage counseling [(00:59:29)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3569s). - Alternatively, couples can also seek advice and counsel from a Godly couple they know, who can provide a helpful and informal perspective on their marriage issues [(00:59:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3585s). - Ultimately, the key characteristics of a helpful counselor or advisor are someone who shares [[Christianity | Christian]] values, hears both sides of the issue, and is willing to confront and challenge the couple to grow and improve [(01:00:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3602s). ## 12..{When a Wife Refuses to Submit} If a husband wants to exercise headship and his wife struggles with this, what should the husband do? [(01:00:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3612s) - If a husband wants to exercise headship and his wife struggles with this, the husband should not try to make his wife submit, as it is not his responsibility to do so [(01:00:13)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3613s). - The calling to submit is directed to women, not men, and it is the wife's calling to submit to her husband in appropriate and Godly ways, with limits [(01:01:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3669s). - The husband's calling is to love his wife self-sacrificially, as [[Jesus | Christ]] loved the church, and to cherish and nourish her, as stated in [[Ephesians 5]] [(01:01:40)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3700s). - If a wife refuses to submit, the husband should continue to serve the Lord in his marriage, lovingly and graciously, without forcing submission, which can be considered abuse [(01:01:56)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3716s). - Forced submission is not healthy and can be abusive in a relationship, and a husband should not use manipulation, nagging, or other means to try to make his wife submit [(01:02:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3750s). - The dynamic between a husband and wife is different from that between a parent and child, as children need to be taught to obey, but a wife's submission is not something that can be forced [(01:02:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3765s). - A husband's response to a wife who refuses to submit should be to focus on his own actions, yielding to [[God]], serving Him, and loving his wife even when she hurts or mistreats him [(01:03:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3792s). - This approach is modeled after Jesus' actions towards us, and is why God uses the analogy of a husband's role to describe Christ's relationship with the church [(01:03:23)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3803s). ## 13..{Marital Dynamics} We are very much best friends but how can we learn the husband/wife part? [(01:03:31)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3811s) - A couple may struggle with transitioning from being best friends to a husband and wife, and it's essential to nurture the intimacy and romance in the marriage, especially if it doesn't come naturally [(01:03:35)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3815s). - Date nights can be a helpful way to work on the romantic aspect of the relationship, and couples can make an effort to make these nights special and explicitly romantic [(01:04:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3846s). - Romance is a personal thing, and couples need to learn what the other person responds to, which may involve asking each other what they find romantic and how to nurture that in the relationship [(01:04:26)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3866s). - The goodness of the bedroom is a crucial aspect of a marriage, and couples should recognize its importance and work on embracing it in a healthy and mature way [(01:04:47)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3887s). - Intimacy between a husband and wife is like a renewal of their marriage covenant, refreshing their understanding and sense of commitment to each other [(01:05:32)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3932s). - For couples who struggle with the headship and submission aspect of their relationship, studying Ephesians chapter 5 together and watching videos on how to be a husband and wife according to scripture can be helpful [(01:06:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3972s). ## 14..{Following Jesus’ Lead} How does Jesus lead the Church, and what can earthly husbands take away from His example? [(01:06:37)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3997s) - [[Jesus]] leads the church by giving it its marching orders, as seen in [[Matthew 28]], and is the one in charge, with husbands being called to mimic his example of self-sacrificial love, but not to the extent of being worshiped by their wives [(01:06:38)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=3998s). - In Revelation, Jesus tells the churches what to do and threatens them with consequences if they don't, but this is seen as his role as judge, not as a metaphorical spouse or husband [(01:07:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4056s). - Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, as stated in [[Ephesians 5]]:25, which is the primary example of how a husband should mimic Jesus [(01:08:29)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4109s). - This self-sacrificial love involves taking on the wife's sin, forgiving her, and bearing the consequences, just as Jesus did on the cross [(01:09:06)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4146s). - Husbands are also called to sanctify their wives, having cleansed them by the washing of water with the word, just as Jesus sanctifies the church through the gospel [(01:09:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4185s). - This sanctification is not the same as salvation, but rather a process of cleansing and purification through the word of [[God]] [(01:09:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4191s). - The husband's role is to give himself up for his wife, even in extreme circumstances, such as protecting her from harm [(01:09:37)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4177s). - A husband's commitment in a [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage is not just about telling his wife what to do, but about blessing her, seeing her grow spiritually and healthily, and taking care of her, so that she may be holy and without blemish [(01:10:02)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4202s). - The husband's role is to love his wife as his own body, nourishing and cherishing her, just as [[Jesus | Christ]] does the church, and this involves providing for her material and emotional needs [(01:10:33)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4233s). - The two key words for husbands are "nourish" and "cherish", which means providing for their wife's needs and showing her love, compassion, and care, and this is the opposite of an abusive relationship [(01:10:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4246s). - A husband's calling is to cherish his wife as Christ does the church, and this involves self-sacrifice, love, and treating her as his own flesh [(01:11:24)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4284s). - Jesus' attitude towards believers is one of cherishing and caring for them, and husbands are called to do the same for their wives [(01:11:28)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4288s). - The husband's role also includes a leadership role and the ability to make decisions on behalf of the family, although this should be done in a self-sacrificing and loving manner [(01:11:46)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4306s). - The husband's focus should be on self-sacrifice, love, nourishing, and cherishing his wife, rather than just making decisions or exerting authority [(01:12:22)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4342s). ## 15..{Why the Church Struggles} Why does this topic within the American church hold such a minority position? [(01:12:29)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4349s) - The topic of [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage, specifically the idea of a husband being the head of his wife, holds a minority position in the American church due to the influence of Westernized culture [(01:12:30)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4350s). - In many Westernized countries, people are uncomfortable with or even opposed to the idea of a husband having authority in a marriage, viewing it as abusive or evil [(01:12:49)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4369s). - This discomfort stems from a worldview issue, where people's beliefs about male and female roles and authority are shaped by culture rather than scripture [(01:13:17)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4397s). - As a result, many people in the church struggle with the idea of a husband taking a leadership role in marriage, and some pastors are afraid to teach on relevant biblical passages like [[Ephesians 5]] and 1 Timothy 2 [(01:14:00)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4440s). - The American church's absorption of cultural beliefs has led to a misunderstanding of the nature of marriage, causing harm to marriages and the church's witness [(01:14:36)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4476s). - This misunderstanding has also contributed to the acceptance of same-sex marriage and transgenderism, as people prioritize individualism and reject God's design for marriage [(01:14:55)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4495s). - In contrast, the biblical view of marriage emphasizes the importance of submission and authority in a positive context, with the husband's role being one of self-sacrificial love and the wife being an equal heir before [[Jesus | Christ]] [(01:15:44)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4544s). - The biblical view of marriage is often at odds with cultural norms, and [[Christianity | Christians]] should be prepared to speak up gently but confidently about the goodness of Godly marriage and marriage roles [(01:16:45)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4605s). ## 16..{More BibleThinker Content!} Where do we find brother Winger’s talks/videos? [(01:16:51)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4611s) - Brother Winger's talks and videos can be found on Mike Winger's [[YouTube]] channel or by listening to his podcast [(01:16:52)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4612s). - To locate his content, one can simply type "Mike Winger" on their preferred platform [(01:16:58)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4618s). - Mike Winger's content is easily accessible, and most people are likely already listening or watching it [(01:17:05)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4625s). ## 17..{Comp. vs. Egal. Divorce Rates} Are divorce rates substantially different between Christian complementarian couples and Christian egalitarian couples? Does anyone know the research? [(01:17:09)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4629s) - Research on [[Christianity | Christian]] marriage has shown that [[Evangelicalism | Evangelical]] marriages are among the healthiest, with wives in these marriages reporting the highest degree of happiness among all demographics [(01:18:35)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4715s). - A book titled "The Toxic War on Masculinity" by Nancy Piar includes studies that contradict the common claim that [[Complementarianism | complementarian]] marriages have higher divorce rates, instead finding no significant difference in divorce rates between complementarian and egalitarian couples [(01:17:47)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4667s). - Complementarian couples believe in a head-body relationship with submission, but also emphasize equality in personhood, nature, and salvation, while egalitarian couples believe there is no difference in roles between men and women related to authority [(01:17:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4632s). - Nominal Christians, who claim to be Christian but do not regularly attend church or live out their faith, have the worst marriage relationships, highest rates of domestic violence, and highest divorce rates [(01:19:44)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4784s). - Committed Christians, who regularly attend church and live out their faith, have lower divorce rates and are more engaged with their children [(01:20:23)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4823s). - Studies have shown that about 50% of men who claim to be Christians but do not regularly attend church fall into the nominal Christian category, while actual Christians who attend church regularly have lower divorce rates and are more engaged with their children [(01:20:07)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4807s). - The common claim that complementarian marriages are a disaster and have higher divorce rates is often made without evidence, and studies have shown that this is not the case [(01:18:11)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4691s). - Controlling for nominal [[Christianity | Christians]] and separating them into two categories (nominal vs. committed) is necessary to accurately test the health of Christian marriages [(01:19:17)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4757s). - Research shows that regular, committed Christians have the lowest rates of domestic violence and the highest quality marriages in America, with 73% of wives who hold conservative gender values and attend church regularly with their husbands having high-quality marriages [(01:20:31)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4831s). - Within the [[Evangelicalism | Evangelical Christian]] group, both egalitarian and [[Complementarianism | complementarian]] marriages exist, but research suggests that complementarian marriages, where the husband takes the lead, have better outcomes [(01:21:04)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4864s). - The top marriage researcher in the nation found that conservative [[Protestantism | Protestant]] married men with children are consistently the most active and expressive fathers and the most emotionally engaged husbands [(01:21:14)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4874s). - Complementarians are often falsely accused of promoting domestic violence and abuse, but empirical research does not support this claim [(01:21:48)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4908s). - The health of a marriage primarily depends on the husband, and when the husband does not listen to his wife, the divorce rate is higher than 80% [(01:22:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4940s). - The book "The Toxic War on Masculinity" by [[Nancy Pearcey | Nancy Pearcy]] provides insight into the importance of masculinity in marriage and the negative effects of its suppression [(01:22:14)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4934s). - The creator of the content, Mike Winger, aims to help people learn to think biblically about everything and has high confidence in the trustworthiness and reliability of scripture [(01:23:04)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4984s). - Mike Winger encourages viewers to check out the links below the video for more information on biblical marriage and to pray for the marriages of those watching [(01:22:55)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=4975s). - A prayer is offered for individuals to navigate their marriages in a way that honors [[God]] and prioritizes their relationship with Him [(01:23:58)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5038s). - The prayer specifically asks for guidance in dealing with problematic husbands who have sin issues and are not godly [(01:24:03)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5043s). - It is prayed that individuals will derive their pleasure from serving God and knowing that He takes pleasure in their service [(01:24:12)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5052s). - Husbands are prayed for, that they would understand the high calling of loving their wives as [[Jesus | Christ]] loves the church, and to give themselves up in self-sacrificial love [(01:24:20)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5060s). - The prayer emphasizes that a husband's calling is not to tell their wives to submit, but rather to demonstrate self-sacrificial love [(01:24:28)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5068s). - The ultimate goal of the prayer is for there to be more happy marriages as a result of individuals following God's teachings and not just instructing others to do so [(01:24:38)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPIaZ67Gwgc&t=5078s).