# The Search for Significance

## Metadata
- Author: [[Robert McGee]]
- Full Title: The Search for Significance
- Category: #books
## Highlights
- Unfortunately, many of us give only lip service to the powerful truths of the Scriptures without allowing them to affect the basis of our self-esteem in a radical way. Instead, we continue to seek our security and purpose from worldly sources: personal success, status, beauty, wealth, and the approval of others. These rewards may fulfill us for a short time, but they soon lead us to a sense of urgency to succeed and the need to be approved of again. ([Location 113](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=113))
- Christ’s death paid the penalty for our sins, and His resurrection gives us new life, new goals, and new hope. He has given us complete security and challenging purpose. These are based not on our abilities but on His grace and the power of His Spirit. Yes, Christ wants us to be zealous and ambitious, but not about our success or status. If we understand His forgiveness and acceptance, we will pursue the right things—Christ and His cause—and we will be free to enjoy His love. ([Location 121](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=121))
- This book focuses on how our thoughts affect our emotional, relational, and spiritual development. ([Location 127](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=127))
- Many of us are hurt emotionally, relationally, and spiritually, but because we are unaware of the extent of our wounds, we don’t take steps toward healing and health. Our problem is not stupidity but a lack of objectivity. Because of this, we fail to see the reality of pain, hurt, and anger in our lives. ([Location 152](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=152))
- Why do some of us lack objectivity? Why can’t we see the reality in our lives? Why are we afraid to turn on the light? ([Location 164](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=164))
- We all develop elaborate defense mechanisms to block pain and gain significance. We suppress emotions; we are compulsive perfectionists; we drive ourselves to succeed, or we withdraw and become passive; we attack people who hurt us; we punish ourselves when we fail; we try to say clever things to be accepted; we help people so that we will be appreciated; and we say and do countless other things. ([Location 170](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=170))
- It is difficult—if not impossible—to turn on the light of objectivity by ourselves. We need guidance from the Holy Spirit and usually the honesty, love, and encouragement of at least one other person who is willing to help us. ([Location 176](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=176))
- all of us bear the effects of our own sinful nature and the imperfections of others. ([Location 180](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=180))
- The Psalms give us tremendous insight about what it means to be honest with the Lord. ([Location 188](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=188))
- These passages demonstrate that God, who spoke of David as a man after His own heart, wants us to be open and honest with Him about all of our emotions, not just the pleasant ones. ([Location 217](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=217))
- When the light of love and honesty shines on thoughts of hopelessness, it is often very painful. We begin to admit that we really do feel negatively about ourselves—and have for a long time. But God’s love, expressed through His people and woven into our lives by His Spirit and His Word, can, over a period of time, bring healing even to our deepest wounds and instill within us an appropriate sense of self-worth. ([Location 228](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=228))
- At this point, simply ask the Lord to give you the courage to be honest. Give Him permission to shine His Spirit’s light on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You may be surprised by additional pain as you realize the extent of your wounds, but our experience of healing can only be as deep as our awareness of the need for it. This takes the power of God’s light. Ask Him to turn on the light. ([Location 236](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=236))
- How do we know if something we want is really something we need? First, the simple answer is that when we are without something we need, we find ourselves uncomfortable, sometimes even miserable, perhaps even at the point of death. ([Location 241](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=241))
- The second way we know if something is critical to our lives is to see if God gives much emphasis in His Word regarding a particular need. ([Location 247](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=247))
- From life’s outset, we find ourselves on the prowl, searching to satisfy some inner, unexplained yearning. Our hunger causes us to search for people who will love us. Our desire for acceptance pressures us to perform to gain praise from others. We strive for success, driving our minds and bodies harder and further, hoping that because of our sweat and sacrifice others will appreciate us more. ([Location 253](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=253))
- Despite our efforts, we will never find lasting, fulfilling peace if we must continually prove ourselves to others. Our desire to be loved and accepted is a symptom of a deeper need—the need that frequently governs our behavior and is the primary source of our emotional pain. Often unrecognized, this is our need for self-worth. ([Location 257](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=257))
- In the Scriptures, God supplies the essentials for discovering our true significance and worth. The first two chapters of Genesis recount man’s creation, revealing man’s intended purpose (to honor God) and man’s value (that he is a special creation of God). John 10:10 also reminds us of how much God treasures His creation, in that Christ came so that man might experience abundant life. However, as Christians, we need to realize that this abundant life is lived in a real world filled with pain, rejection, and failure. Therefore, experiencing the abundant life God intends for us does not mean that our lives will be problem-free. On the contrary, life itself is a series of problems that often act as obstacles to our search for significance, and the abundant life is the experience of God’s love, forgiveness, and power in the midst of these problems. The Scriptures warn us that we live within a warfare that can destroy our faith, lower our self-esteem, and lead us into depression. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul instructs us to put on the armor of God so that we can be equipped for spiritual battle. However, it often seems that unsuspecting believers are the last to know this battle is occurring, and they don’t know that Christ has ultimately won the war. They are surprised and confused by difficulties, thinking that the Christian life is a playground, not a battlefield. ([Location 294](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=294))
- As Christians, our fulfillment in this life depends not on our skills to avoid life’s problems but on our ability to apply God’s specific solutions to those problems. An accurate understanding of God’s truth is the first step toward discovering our significance and worth. ([Location 304](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=304))
- An accurate, biblical self-concept contains both strength and humility, both sorrow over sin and joy about forgiveness, a deep sense of our need for God’s grace and a deep sense of the reality of God’s grace. ([Location 314](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=314))
- Whether labeled self-esteem or self-worth, the feeling of significance is crucial to man’s emotional, spiritual, and social stability and is the driving element within the human spirit. Understanding this single need opens the door to understanding our actions and attitudes. ([Location 316](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=316))
- We must understand that this hunger for self-worth is God-given and can only be satisfied by Him. ([Location 320](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=320))
- To accomplish his goal, Satan began by deceiving Eve, who fell to the temptation. Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, believing it would make her wise and like God. Adam, however, was not deceived. He deliberately chose to forsake the love and security of God and follow Eve in sin. ([Location 352](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=352))
- From that moment on, all history led to a single hill outside of Jerusalem, where God appointed a Savior to pay the penalty for man’s sin of rebellion (our attempts to find security and purpose apart from Him). Christ’s death is the most overwhelming evidence of God’s love for us. ([Location 358](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=358))
- Our true value is based not on our behavior or the approval of others but on what God’s Word says is true of us. ([Location 446](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=446))
- If we base our worth solidly on the truths of God’s Word, then our behavior will often reflect His love, grace, and power. But if we base our worth on our abilities or the fickle approval of others, then our behavior will reflect the insecurity, fear, and anger that come from such instability. ([Location 448](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=448))
- Satan, however, continues to deceive people, including many Christians, into believing that the basis of their worth is their performance and their ability to please others. The equation below reflects Satan’s lie: Self-Worth = Performance + Others’ Opinions ([Location 478](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=478))
- Our attempts to meet our needs for success and approval fall into two broad categories: compulsiveness and withdrawal. ([Location 489](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=489))
- Finally, after several months, Rob understood. He based his security on his performance just as much as Kathy did, but he handled it differently. She became more compulsive to have things just right, while he withdrew to avoid failure. ([Location 510](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=510))
- Our self-esteem and view of God are usually a mirror of our parents’ attitudes toward us. Those who are loved and affirmed by their parents tend to have a fairly healthy self-concept and usually find it easy to believe that God is loving and powerful. Those whose parents have been neglectful, manipulative, or condemning usually seem to feel that they have to earn a sense of worth and that God is aloof, demanding, and/or cruel. Our parents ([Location 519](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B006X50SLM&location=519))