# Sticky Church ![rw-book-cover](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/418pFw5jDXL._SL200_.jpg) ## Metadata - Author: [[Larry Osborne]] - Full Title: Sticky Church - Category: #books ## Highlights - Everything we do is aimed at helping the Christians we already have grow stronger in Christ. But everything is done in such a way that their non-Christian friends will understand all that we’re saying and doing. Bottom line: We’ve tried to create a perfect storm for come-and-see evangelism while velcroing newcomers for long-term spiritual growth. ([Location 257](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=257)) - Since 1985 that number has equaled at least 80 percent of our average weekend attendance. ([Location 269](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=269)) - To determine our percentage in small groups, we take the average weekend adult attendance in the month of October and figure out what 80 percent of that number is. Then we check to see how many people are in our growth groups (the name we use for our organized small groups). For us, this number should equal or exceed the 80 percent figure every year. ([Location 281](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=281)) - For instance, churches with a long history of adult Sunday school will always have a lower percentage of small group involvement than churches where small groups are the only option for fellowship and growth. ([Location 290](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=290)) - It’s not a matter of spirituality; it’s a matter of competition for time and resources. ([Location 291](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=291)) - Instead, to be brutally honest, I was using the people I already had to reach the people I wanted to reach. They weren’t sheep to be cared for; they were tools to be utilized. ([Location 349](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=349)) - But on the other hand, I fear for the unintended consequences of his outlook. If he’s only going to reach out to non-Christians and nurture new Christians, what’s he going to do when those new Christians become plain ol’ Christians, the kind he hates to be around? ([Location 360](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=360)) - The decision to focus on the people I already had helped to close the back door. ([Location 374](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=374)) - I now realize that’s because people who come through the front door of a church through word-of-mouth referrals have a fundamentally different experience than do those who come as the result of a marketing campaign. ([Location 377](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=377)) - First, it changed the way I related to our lay leadership team. When ([Location 404](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=404)) - But a sticky church needs a healthy leadership team composed of people who genuinely like one another, share the same vision, and pull in the same direction. ([Location 406](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=406)) - if board members leave the church once their term is up, it’s pretty tough to close the back door for everyone else.* ([Location 408](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=408)) - The second big change was in the way I taught and led our congregation. ([Location 410](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=410)) - Closing the back door meant finding a way to help these people discover a path to spirituality that worked for them, one that would enable them to finish the race—not by excusing sin but by accommodating their slower pace. ([Location 413](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=413)) - The third change involved launching a small group ministry focused primarily on building significant relationships rather than growing the church. ([Location 416](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=416)) - Churches that close the back door effectively do so by serving their congregations so well that the people don’t want to leave. And happy sheep are incurable word-of-mouth marketers. ([Location 440](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=440)) - Whatever you do to reach people you have to continue to do to keep them. ([Location 451](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=451)) - There is a second unintended obstacle that highly programmed front-door churches can put in the way of natural evangelism. If most of the people who come to Christ come as the result of a complex and high-powered event, it sends a subtle message that it takes lots of time, planning, and money to lead someone to Christ. And that tells the average Joe to hold off until we’ve scheduled the next great fishing party. ([Location 499](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=499)) - At North Coast we didn’t have (or need) an organized follow-up procedure until we were well past three thousand in weekend attendance. And ([Location 518](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=518)) - Friends don’t have to be reminded to assimilate friends. They do so naturally—and enthusiastically. It’s also easier to assimilate when there’s no ([Location 523](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=523)) - Instead of complex assimilation programs, a sticky church simply needs to provide plenty of ministry on-ramps to which members can easily connect the friends they’ve invited. ([Location 528](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=528)) - Most of our discipleship programs are very linear. Unfortunately, most spiritual growth is not. ([Location 556](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=556)) - And it had little to nothing to do with how we actually grew. ([Location 569](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=569)) - Most spiritual growth doesn’t come as a result of a training program or a set curriculum. It comes as a result of life putting us in what I like to call a need-to-know or need-to-grow situation. ([Location 571](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=571)) - Or maybe your next-door neighbor has started to meet with some Mormon missionaries and wants you to join in. Suddenly the deity of Christ, the Trinity, the atonement, and a host of other theological issues no longer seem so dry and academic. ([Location 579](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=579)) - Need-to-grow moments are similar, but they’re usually accompanied by a tough trial or a stretching experience. ([Location 582](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=582)) - But that’s not how most of us learn or change. We all learn best when we understand why a topic is important, and we change best—well, when we have to. ([Location 588](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=588)) - The focus of a sermon-based small group is not so much on the curriculum as it is on the process. ([Location 592](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=592)) - The ultimate goal of a sermon-based small group is simply to velcro people to the two things they will need most when faced with a need-to-know or need-to-grow situation: the Bible and other Christians. ([Location 595](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=595)) - While many church leaders claim that small groups are an integral part of their ministry, I’ve learned that two simple measurements will always tell me their real place in a ministry’s pecking order: (1) the percentage of adults who attend a small group, and (2) the participation level of senior staff and key lay leaders. ([Location 652](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=652)) - However, once we took the steps necessary to make them a genuine priority—by hiring a staff member to wake up thinking about small groups and by clarifying the expectation that all leaders would participate—the impact on the health and spiritual DNA of our church was profound and nearly immediate. ([Location 669](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=669)) - At North Coast every group has a leader and a host, most often made up of two couples. ([Location 721](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=721)) - Empowerment without a platform is like responsibility without authority. In too many of our churches, we offer discipleship training and leadership training without providing any significant platform for people to do the things they’ve been trained to do. ([Location 724](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=724)) - Worse, in some (though not all) megachurches, the span of ministry is so large that only the best of the best ever get a chance to exercise leadership and pastoral functions. ([Location 729](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=729)) - As a former youth pastor, I learned long ago that no one steps up until there’s a vacuum that needs to be filled. ([Location 731](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=731)) - I was always amazed at how much like their parents most of the kids in my youth group eventually became. ([Location 830](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=830)) - Educational theorists have long pointed out that we forget most of what we hear unless we also interact with the material visually, verbally, or physically. That’s why getting people to take notes increases recall dramatically. ([Location 879](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=879)) - But every time I teach, I have a significant roadblock to overcome. It’s our natural tendency to confuse familiarity with knowledge. ([Location 927](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=927)) - Basically, there are four stages of knowledge. The first is what I call the inspired stage. That’s what happens when I hear a new truth or principle that rings true. I’m inspired and challenged. I go home thinking, “Boy, I learned something today.” The second stage is familiarity. It’s the stage at which I hear something and go, “Oh yeah, I remember that.” It’s not particularly exciting, but if it fits with where I’m living and the issues I’m facing, it can be challenging and send me home with the feeling, “I’m glad I came.” ([Location 929](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=929)) - The third stage is the bored stage. It’s when I’ve heard it all before and feel like there’s nothing more to learn. It’s the stage that most communicators dread and try to avoid as much as possible. But it’s not yet real knowledge—it’s only deep familiarity. And it’s the stage at which many of us bail out. I’ve only reached the knowledge stage when I know the principle or truth before someone brings it up and ([Location 935](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=935)) - reminds me, when I can state it or use it without being prompted. ([Location 938](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=938)) - But here’s the problem: Because we hate so badly to bore people, most teachers don’t repeat anything often enough to move beyond the deep familiarity of boredom to the point of true knowledge. And that leaves our people with lots of things they kinda know. ([Location 944](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=944)) - If you ever want to help people understand the difference between familiarity and knowledge, just ask ten or twenty people if they think it’s important to live by the Ten Commandments. After they say yes, tell them you can’t remember all the commandments and ask them to help you list them. You’ll find that most can’t. They believe in these laws and try to follow them. They just don’t know what they are or how to find them! You can do the same thing with many other “well-known” biblical passages and concepts. You’ll discover lots of familiarity but not so much knowledge. ([Location 954](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B001FA0X1U&location=954))