# Coaching Life-Changing Small Group Leaders ![rw-book-cover](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51iVH41BDSL._SL200_.jpg) ## Metadata - Author: [[Bill Donahue]] - Full Title: Coaching Life-Changing Small Group Leaders - Category: #books ## Highlights - Larry Crabb writes, “Visionaries call us to religious action. Entrepreneurs figure out how to get the action going. Marketing geniuses brand the action till everybody’s talking about it. Gifted performers speak or sing us into action. Again, all good things with an important place—but not first place. More important is that each leader be known by someone, not by a crowd or a committee, but by a person, a close friend, an intimate companion. And not merely held accountable, but genuinely known in an intimate, vulnerable, painfully real, long-term relationship” (Soul Talk, p. 53). ([Location 395](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=395)) - TEN QUALITIES OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE COACHES ([Location 413](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=413)) - 1. Life-changing coaches live with personal integrity. ([Location 415](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=415)) - 2. Life-changing coaches are passionate about developing leaders. ([Location 428](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=428)) - 3. Life-changing coaches are spiritually attuned. ([Location 434](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=434)) - 4. Life-changing coaches are self-starters. ([Location 446](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=446)) - 5. Life-changing coaches are intellectually curious. ([Location 455](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=455)) - 6. Life-changing coaches are others-focused. ([Location 469](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=469)) - 7. Life-changing coaches are relationally savvy. ([Location 499](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=499)) - 8. Life-changing coaches are effective communicators. ([Location 512](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=512)) - 9. Life-changing coaches are truth tellers. ([Location 523](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=523)) - 10. Life-changing coaches are inspiring. ([Location 533](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=533)) - There are three primary tools you will use as you build into your leaders. ([Location 1063](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1063)) - 1. Coaching conversations. ([Location 1065](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1065)) - Ralph Neighbour Jr. writes, “Nothing can substitute for personal time with each member of your flock! It will be in such private times that you will discern their value systems and deepest needs … there will be times when more private sessions will help you gain special insights into each person” (The Shepherd’s Guidebook). ([Location 1066](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1066)) - 2. Leadership gatherings. ([Location 1071](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1071)) - 3. Group visits. ([Location 1077](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1077)) - you are a new coach, it’s best to begin by building a relationship with each of your leaders. ([Location 1082](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1082)) - If you are an experienced coach and a new leader is added to your team, try to meet with that leader one-on-one as soon as possible. ([Location 1087](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1087)) - Build strong, healthy relationships with your leaders by following these basic principles. ([Location 1108](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1108)) - 1. Focus on relationship more than reporting. ([Location 1110](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1110)) - 2. Focus on nurture more than skill development. ([Location 1123](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1123)) - 3. Focus on spiritual concerns more than organizational issues. ([Location 1137](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1137)) - 4. Focus on encouragement more than management. ([Location 1144](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1144)) - 5. Focus on frequent connection more than high-impact conversations. We ([Location 1160](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1160)) - Schedule a regular meeting and make it a part of your ministry in your leaders’ lives. The more frequent your meetings, the more quickly your relationships will deepen. ([Location 1163](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1163)) - Notice we said regular. We did not say monthly or weekly, as though there were a one-size-fits-all approach to ([Location 1166](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1166)) - How often you meet with a leader will depend on their needs and mutual availability. ([Location 1167](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1167)) - 6. Focus on asking questions more than fixing problems. ([Location 1173](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1173)) - How Do I Begin These Conversations? ([Location 1196](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1196)) - 1. Pray ([Location 1198](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1198)) - 2. Prepare ([Location 1205](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1205)) - 1. What is your sense of how this leader is doing spiritually? ([Location 1207](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1207)) - 2. What one or two main issues would you like to discuss when you meet? ([Location 1208](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1208)) - 3. What issues from previous coaching conversations need follow-up? ([Location 1209](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1209)) - 4. Do you need to discuss any item from your last group visit or leadership gathering, such as a concern or a reason to offer praise? ([Location 1211](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1211)) - 3. Personalize ([Location 1216](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1216)) - 4. Perspective ([Location 1229](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1229)) - After each meeting (or series of meetings), gain insight and perspective by evaluating the time spent with a leader. ([Location 1230](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1230)) - Use the questions in the “perspective” section of the tool below to help you in your evaluation. ([Location 1231](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1231)) - Development Aid: Coaching Conversations ([Location 1252](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1252)) - CONVERSATION 1 Initial Conversation with a Leader ([Location 1278](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1278)) - CONVERSATION 2 Modeling personal growth ([Location 1314](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1314)) - CONVERSATION 3 Shepherding Your Group ([Location 1368](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1368)) - CONVERSATION 4 Building Authentic Relationships ([Location 1403](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1403)) - CONVERSATION 5 Resolving Conflict in a Healthy Manner ([Location 1450](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1450)) - CONVERSATION 6 Extending Care and Compassion ([Location 1506](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1506)) - CONVERSATION 7 becoming an Inclusive Community ([Location 1553](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1553)) - CONVERSATION 8 Reaching Out to Seekers ([Location 1601](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1601)) - CONVERSATION 9 Developing Future Leaders ([Location 1654](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1654)) - What questions might a leader have as he or she considers attending a leadership gathering? ([Location 1718](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1718)) - The Goal of Gatherings: Create a Learning Community ([Location 1727](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1727)) - The goal of any gathering is to help establish a learning community. Those two words, learning and community, represent key components that coaches need to try to balance in their leadership gatherings. ([Location 1727](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1727)) - Five Reasons to Gather Your Leaders ([Location 1751](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1751)) - 1. To Learn ([Location 1753](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1753)) - Find a three- to five-minute video clip from an online training site (or YouTube). Use it as a discussion starter for shared learning among your leaders. ([Location 1757](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1757)) - 2. To Serve ([Location 1766](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1766)) - 3. To Grow ([Location 1778](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1778)) - 4. To Relate ([Location 1790](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1790)) - 5. To Celebrate ([Location 1799](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1799)) - Planning a Leadership Gathering ([Location 1808](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1808)) - A Quick Test: Will This Gathering Have Value for Your Leaders? ([Location 1839](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1839)) - View the meeting through your leaders’ eyes as they might be asking these questions. ([Location 1841](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1841)) - • Is it worth my time and effort? ([Location 1842](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1842)) - • Am I going to feel encouraged? ([Location 1843](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1843)) - • Will it meet my needs? ([Location 1844](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1844)) - • Will I learn something new? ([Location 1845](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1845)) - • Will I have the opportunity to participate? ([Location 1846](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1846)) - Leadership Gathering or Coaching Conversation? ([Location 1851](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1851)) - Developing Skills at Leadership Gatherings Here are three steps you can take to maximize the gathering time for skill development. ([Location 1872](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1872)) - 1. Identify the Skill ([Location 1874](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1874)) - 2. Model the Skill ([Location 1885](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1885)) - 3. Involve Others ([Location 1890](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1890)) - Evaluating Leadership Gatherings ([Location 1896](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1896)) - Development Aid: Leadership Gatherings ([Location 1906](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0058CVWGG&location=1906))